Yifan's Workout

Alright, so this is my first real blogpost, and it's going to be about working out.

So yea, I used to lift weights in my highschool, but I didn't really work out in a year. Thus, it's safe to say that I'm a bit rusty.

Yifan on the other hand is a MASSIVE body builder. He works out like EVERY SINGLE DAY. He's so strong, he has MUSCLES on his MUSCLES on his MUSCLES on his bones. The man knows his weight lifting techniques, from tension training to the ultimate super-set. So for a day, I decided to go under his tutelage.

With a general two hour work-out routine planned, we headed off to the local gym. Personally, I've never really done any research on weightlifting, so I only knew the basics. Yifan however, was the MASTER. He knew which exercises worked out pectoralis major/minor, surrounding balance muscles, and the optimal combinations to go from primary-secondary muscle training to isolation training.

On our way to the gym, Yifan told me we'd be doing a general upperbody push day. To me, this simply meant work the chest, shoulders, and triceps. Boy was I wrong. This man redefined the common workout. What started as a simple benchpress become something I couldn't even possibly dream of. After benching 3 sets of 8 reps of 225 lbs, Yifan claims he is done warming up. He then proceeds to resume benching, only now throwing the barbell up at the apex of the press, propelling the barbell inches away from hitting the ceiling of the weightroom. He continues to do this for several reps. I lost count at about 25. He then goes over and repeats this process, but on an incline, to work out his upper pectorals and front deltoids. He then proceeds to the shoulder press. Unamused by the dumbbells that have weights of only two digits, Yifan grabs hold of two 110 lbs dumbells and begins his shoulder press routine. One dumbbell per hand, he starts punching above him at speeds I had never seen before. This fantastic feat of superhuman strength was only topped when Yifan began to take these 110 lbs weights, and started to dance, rapidly fist pumping as if he were in an overly Italian rave party. With these exercises finished, Yifan then continued on to his triceps. Rather than the conventional tricep dips, Yifan took a very novel approach to this workout. He set up two benches, as if he was going to do a dip. He then asks me to stack on top of his abdoman all the 45lbs weights I can find in the weightroom. When I told him it was simply impossible to do a dip in such conditions, he told me "NO... It is only impossible if you don't believe. A true man believes in himself, and thus, in his own muscles." Moved by the words of a true man, teas began to swell in my eyes as I placed all the weights I could find in the weightroom on top of Yifan. Totaling to over 500 lbs, this meter high stack of weights would be enough to torture any man. However, Yifan takes it with ease, as he does dip after dip.

After reading this post, you may wish to ask if Yifan takes performance enhancing drugs. Now, as valid of a question this is, I must ask that all readers immediately strike this thought from their brains, for no performance enhancing drug could possibly enable a man to do this. Yifan is simply the powerhouse product that is the human product of superman fused with a bull fused with Chuck Norris.

I will leave you with one simple piece of advice. When you see Yifan, do high five him... but be careful, or he may just break your hand.